


Lover

by barrysspeed



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canada, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Anxiety, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Recreational Drug Use, Sitcom, Strangers to Lovers, canadian louis, computer science louis, famous!harry, gender is just complicated, genius louis, just hints to anxiety disorder, legal marjiuana, no like trans characters, normal!louis, questioning of gender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25371577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barrysspeed/pseuds/barrysspeed
Summary: While on the run, Harry meets Louis in Vancouver. They fall in love.Essentially, just loads of fluff.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Perrie Edwards/Zayn Malik
Comments: 4
Kudos: 74





	Lover

FALL

They meet because they’re neighbors. It feels incredibly cliché and lame that Harry walks up the steps to his secret shitty Vancouver apartment and he finds him moving in boxes. The older boy looked to be struggling so obviously, Harry offered help. 

“Uh, you need a hand?” Harry laughs a little bit, watching his new neighbor struggle to open the door while holding boxes.

“Oh, yes please oh fuck- thank you so much.” The boy answers, moving out of the way so Harry can open the door for him. “Thank you so much.” He says again, sighing out of relief, putting the boxes down in his apartment. 

“No problem, just being neighborly.” Harry smiles, “I’m uh Harry by the way. I live in 3c” He continues, it would be presumptuous for him to assume this new neighbor knows his name, but he’s gotten to a point where most people his age do know. 

“Nice to meet ya, Harry!” The boy smiles, clapping his hands then wiping them on his pants, “I’m Louis. I uh- live in 3d if not obvious enough.”

“Well, uh welcome to the building.” Harry adds awkwardly, on his way out. 

“Thank you, Harry.” Louis smiles, seeing Harry out of the apartment. 

And then it continues like that, running into each other in the hallway.

Louis must have a normal job. He leaves around 8 am and comes back around 6 pm. Therefore when Harry is leaving for his morning run, he’ll often run into the older boy. They’ve grown polite with their small morning conversations. Usually not drifting far from the weather or how their mornings are going until-

“Good morning, Louis.” Harry smiles, locking his door. 

“Great morning, Harry.” Louis smiles wide, holding eye contact with Harry. 

“And why is it great?” Harry asks, curiously. 

“My friends are all coming over for dinner tonight. We started the tradition of having a family meal every Friday in my last place but when I moved we put it on pause, starting it again today.” Louis smiles, “You should come!” 

“Oh no, I don’t want to intrude.” Harry tries.

“Not intruding at all! You should come.” Louis continues.

He ponders it for a second and then, “Ok, I will.” Harry shrugs because honestly, that sounds great. That’s what this is all about right? He had a breakdown and ran- bought an apartment in Vancouver of all places because he wanted to live a normal life. And this is a normal life, making friends, having dinners, being young and free. Harry honestly doesn’t even know what those things feel like because that isn’t his reality. His reality is an unstable pop star on the run, isn’t it? 

“Great, come over around 7. Bring wine or food or a combination. The only rule is that it can’t cost more than twenty dollars total.” Louis says, they’re at the bottom of the stairs now, Harry getting his headphones ready to listen to music while on his run and Louis getting his car keys out of his pocket. 

“Twenty dollars?” Harry laughs.

“Yeah, we started the tradition while we were poor in university.” Louis shrugs, “Now we’re poor in shitty apartments, made sense to continue it.” 

“I can’t wait.” Harry smiles, because this is it. What he wanted. Something normal, something real 24-year-olds experience. 

. . .

Harry realizes at 6 that he’s probably in over his head for so many reasons. For one, when he opened his fridge he notes that he could not make a dish that costs twenty dollars. Yeah he’s decided to live in a shitty apartment in an attempt to hide out and also experience it (which he admits is kind of stupid and privileged but he likes his shitty apartment) but he hasn’t given up his organic vegan groceries. Which means normally his dishes cost a lot more than twenty bucks. 

He also realizes that just because Louis doesn’t know who he is does not mean that all his friends won’t. He has no idea who’s coming, but if there is a single girl his cover is going to be blown, and he kind of likes having a neighbor who doesn’t know him. For lots of reasons, but mainly, his apartment hasn’t been leaked yet. No one on Twitter has seen or heard from him since the end of his tour- don’t even know about the whole mental breakdown and disappearing thing. 

Harry sighs, shakes his head out of frustration, tugging his curls slightly- he came here to escape not to think certain thoughts that force him to become overwhelmed. So, he closes the fridge and decides to walk down to the corner store that’s a few buildings over. He can find a cheap bottle of wine there. Also, the walk there and back might help him calm his nerves, stop the shake of his hands. 

He spends too long at the corner store. Starring at the wine, again feeling overwhelmed which frustrates him to no point. He is doing this to feel normal, end the overwhelming emotions he has at all times but now he’s just getting overwhelmed about all the wine choices that are in front of him. He sighs, yanks his curls again, a little harder than earlier, grabs a wine bottle that costs eighteen dollars (decides on that one because it fits in the price point and the bottle is pretty- covered in hearts and “I love you” in different languages) and goes to check out. 

By the time Harry is back on the third floor, it’s time to go to Louis’s apartment, he wasted so much time freaking out over wine that he doesn’t even have time to freak out about how Louis’s friends can very much recognize him and ruin everything. Ruin the normalcy he was aiming for with this dinner, leak his location and ruin Canada for him, just overall this dinner is so stupidly risky. Before Harry can get too wrapped into this, because the risk will be worth the payoff if he gets normalcy, he knocks. 

“Harold!” Louis smiles, throwing the door open. Very possible he is already wine drunk Harry notes.

“Hi! I uh- brought wine!” Harry says awkwardly, thrusting the bottle into Louis’s hands

“Oh, a classic! Eighteen dollars and pretty!” Louis smiles looking down at the bottle.

“How’d you know the price?” Harry laughs because he purposely took the price tag off.

“It’s a great deal, I have bought it a few Fridays.” Louis whispers, gesturing Harry in, closing the door behind him. “Come meet my friends!” He continues, taking Harry’s hand yanking him into the kitchen.

Definitely already wine drunk. 

Harry looks around Louis’ apartment and notes the layout of their apartments fairly similar. A tiny living room attached to a tiny dining area, connected to a decent size kitchen. Louis walks around a crowd of people to get a wine glass and opens the wine Harry brought before pouring it and handing the glass to Harry. 

“Everyone! This is Harry he’s my neighbor.” Louis announces, getting the group's attention. “Harry, this is Niall, Zayn, Perrie, Liam, and Eleanor.” He explains, pointing as he goes. 

They all murmur how it’s nice to meet him, and Harry mumbles it back, smiling at Louis taking a sip from his wine. 

“Once again, everyone brings wine.” A blond girl, Perrie, laughs, she’s sitting on the counter with her arms wrapped around a beautiful boy, Zayn. 

“Good thing I have once again planned for that, and cooked!” Louis laughs, turning to the stove and taking some potatoes out of the oven. “You all have a one-track mind for these dinners though.” Louis laughs point a finger at the group in a mock accusingly manner. 

Harry chuckles sipping his wine awkwardly, unsure how to really talk to strangers honestly. He is a stranger to situations where people don’t know who he is. 

“So, Harry, what do you do?” Liam asks he leans over the counter and grabs a grape that looks to be laid out as an appetizer. So maybe Harry is getting by without being recognized, maybe Louis and his friends are huge hipsters or punks or some other group that rejects mainstream music.

“I’m uh actually not working right now. Taking some time off.” Harry mumbles awkwardly, stuffing his unoccupied hand into his pocket, shuffling side to side. He notes the face Perrie is giving him and notes maybe to check twitter tonight to see if his location gets leaked. He’s probably being paranoid but also being paranoid is important when you’re a pop star on the run. 

“Must be nice mate, I’m working ridiculous hours right now. Would love to sleep in for once.” Niall fills the awkward silence, taking a sip of his beer. 

“Don’t interrogate poor little Harry here! Now everyone to the table dinner is served.” Louis says, making wild hand gestures waving them into the dining room. Where a table that is slightly too small to fit all of them awaits. 

Once sat, Harry enjoys himself. Gets a little wine drunk and listens to the friends' banter and talk about their work. Louis and Niall work at a tech start-up together apparently, went to prestigious universities for a degree in engineering and Harry feels like he’s in the deep end a little. Liam is a lawyer, Eleanor a journalist and thank god for Perrie who is a bartender and makes Harry feel a little more justified as a high school drop-out. 

They all tease each other, Harry learns that Eleanor is a mess, sleeps in too often, and dates boys that aren’t good for her. Learns that Perrie is currently going through a sexuality crisis and everyone is the room is just comfortable and open enough to discuss that over dinner like its nothing, while her boyfriend holds her hand. Which Harry fucking wished was his experience. Learns that Louis is gay. Learns that Liam is horrible at hockey, which is apparently a sport that Canadians all care about. Harry sits back and laughs and relaxes and feels strangely at home. 

There’s music in the background, pop music at that. There hasn’t been a single song by Harry, but Harry still takes a deep breath every time there’s silence in between songs, waiting for his cover to be blown. But songs by Taylor have come on and he was so closely associated with her that honestly, people at the table must know. No one says anything though, Harry does note that Louis sings along to Shake it Off though, which both amuses him and also angers him because he isn’t Taylor’s biggest fan right now. 

Eventually, the topic switches to him, prompted by Eleanor to share a little about himself. “Uh- I’m Harry. I grew up in England, only been in Canada a few months now. I’m 24, uh, not working currently.” Harry admits shyly. 

“Why’d you decide on Vancouver? For your break, I mean.” Perrie encourages. 

“I was looking for an escape, for an isolated bubble. Vancouver felt like that.” Harry smiles, taking a sip of his wine. 

“I think Vancouver is a great safe haven.” Niall smiles at him.

Which is such a simple thing to say, but it’s more encouragement than Harry has gotten in a long time, so it feels like a lot more. Harry has sat here all night, laughing and feeling so extremely at ease. Did not have to pause a single time to get control of his thoughts or force his hands to stop shaking. Harry realizes, Niall is right, Harry made the right decision, “Yeah, I’m really glad I picked here.” Harry smiles at Louis who holds his eye contact and smiles back. 

“Well, I can cheers to that.” Louis announces, still holding the eye contact, “To Harry and falling in love with the great city of Vancouver.”

“To Harry.” The group smiles, clinking their wine glasses. 

Overall, it’s a great fucking night. 

. . . 

It becomes a tradition. Harry joining them on Friday nights. Some nights he’ll cook a vegan dish to bring over which results in relentless teasing, but in the end, there are no leftovers so Harry feels justified in his choices. Other Fridays, Louis knocks on his door the second he’s home, signaling to Harry to come over whenever he wants. Harry walks into Louis’ apartment without knocking because apparently they’ve reached that milestone in their friendship (Louis let him know by continuously walking into Harry’s apartment without knocking) and will help Louis prepare dinner, which is embarrassingly fun. 

Though every Friday, Harry sits back with a glass of shitty cheap white wine and laughs along with Louis’s friends, his friends. Now feels comfortable enough to tease back, to bully Eleanor about her shitty boy choices, laugh at Liam’s oblivion when it comes to girls. Gets to hear about Louis’ private life, he’s single despite his friends constantly trying to set him up with other guys, which on some level makes Harry happy because he would be lying if he said he didn’t find Louis attractive. 

Most Fridays, Harry stays back after everyone leaves. He washes the dishes while Louis dries them. Louis singing along to whatever is playing off of his speaker off-key. They’ll talk about their days, Louis about his job or Harry about his run or the book he’s reading. It feels so painfully normal, so domestic. Feels like everything Harry has ever wanted. Harry always leaves smiling. 

. . .

Harry and Louis start hanging out on other days too, not just Fridays. It stemmed from Louis learning that Harry never watched How I Met Your Mother, which Louis insists is a better sitcom than Friends. Harry is pretty sure Louis just prefers the newer show because of the Canadian representation. Harry is a few seasons in and isn’t sure if he agrees, both are good, but Friends is just a classic. The nights usually end in a fight about who in their group is who in the How I Met Your Mother group. Louis insists that Harry is Ted, but Harry is not fucking Ted. Harry insists Louis is Robin (mostly just because of Louis’ adorable thick Canadian accent). 

These arguments though are something Harry always imagined. Sitting in Louis’s apartment makes him think a lot of Monica’s apartment, feels like the idea of normal he’s always wanted but never had. Even though Louis always declares himself the winner of their fights, it always ends with Harry smiling.

Tonight, Harry is drinking cheap white wine with ice in it, which seems to be a Tomlinson staple that he quite enjoys. He’s lying on Louis’s couch, lounging as Louis complains about the people he works with while Taylor Swift (apparently one of Louis’s favorites *sigh*) plays in the background, singing about love. But Harry can’t find it in himself to be annoyed with Taylor or Louis’s prick co-worker, Zach. Instead, he listens to Taylor sing about love and smiles, staring at the ceiling. 

“Hey, frog face, you listening?” Louis’s rant stops abruptly. 

“Hey, I don’t look like a frog.” Harry frowns, sitting up, to both look at Louis but also take another sip of his delicious five dollar wine. 

“You do, especially when you frown.” Louis chuckles, sitting down next to Harry, tucking his feet underneath his body. 

“I am listening, Zach is a dick. You should try to talk to him about responsibilities.” Harry tries. 

“Oh my god. You are drunk.” Louis laughs in astonishment.

“I am not! That was a good response.” Harry laughs, crossing his hand to at least appear stubborn.

“It was, it’s just you get this dopey face when you’re drunk.” Louis smiles, reaching out to tuck some of Harry’s hair behind his ear (he’s growing it out during his stay in his safe haven). “You’ve only had two glasses.” 

“Yes, but I didn’t eat much today.” Harry shrugs. “Also, I think my face is just dopey because I’m happy.”

“Happy?” Louis hums, moving closer to Harry.

“I am here with you, slightly wine drunk, listening to music about love in the great city of Vancouver. What is there not to be happy about?” Harry explains. 

“You’re right.” Louis smiles back at Harry. Their faces are unexplainably close, enough to make Harry’s mind rush a little with anxious thoughts about sexuality and kisses and scary when Louis pulls away suddenly, standing up. “Dance with me, I love this song.” 

Lover by Taylor Swift is playing in the background and this is unbelievably cheesy. But honestly, that kind of makes sense for Harry and Louis who met in their apartment hallway, who have a friend group that could have come out of a sitcom script. So Harry stands, wrapping his hands around Louis’s waist as he reaches to wrap his hands around Harry’s neck. 

“This is nice, isn’t it?” Louis asks, about halfway through the song.

“It is.” Harry smiles, laying his head on top of Louis’.

“Is this what you imagined when you moved to Vancouver as an escape?” Louis asks after another long pause. 

Harry pauses, pulling away so he can look Louis in the eye. Is it what he imagined? On some level, maybe. Harry wanted a normal friend group. Harry wanted to live in a shitty apartment and be off the grid. But Harry never imagined someone like Louis, even with his hopeless romantic soul and his constant daydreams about coffeeshop friend groups he couldn’t have dreamed up Louis. So he answers, “This is so much better than what I imagined.” He whispers, holding their eye contact. 

Harry never imagined dancing with a beautiful boy while drunk off cheap wine in his shitty apartment to a song by a woman he supposedly dated. He could never imagine his safe haven feeling so much like a haven. He’s smiling so hard to himself, thinking too hard he doesn’t even notice Louis leaning in until their lips are already touching. This honestly just makes Harry smile even harder. 

. . . 

It’s three weeks after their first kiss and Harry is pretty sure they’re dating. He isn’t positive because he hasn’t worked up the nerve to ask him yet. Still getting really anxious over the whole I am gay! thing. Louis will usually notice when Harry is too deep into these massive scary thoughts though, will run a hand through Harry’s curls, kiss him and try to calm him down with some mindless conversation. 

But it’s three weeks and they haven’t gone on a real date yet. Friday nights are spent with the group of course, and a lot of other nights they end up on one of their couches in sweats and laughing to Friends (It was Harry’s turn to pick a series). But no real date, which Harry realizes is not a normal relationship and that’s what he wants- normal. So he’s gonna man up and ask Louis on a date. 

He’s wearing skinny jeans and a patterned button-up, dressed up a lot more than he usually is when he hangs out with Lou, the typical go-to of joggers and a thrifted ironic shirt, standing outside of Louis’ door. They’re supposed to watch Friends tonight, they’re in season four which is undeniably the best season, but Harry has other plans. Instead, he knocks on Louis’ door instead of walking in unannounced like they typically do. 

“It was open I-“ Louis starts but stops when he sees Harry. “Are those for me?” Louis smiles, pointing at the flowers Harry is holding.

“They are.” Harry smiles, blushing slightly. He can’t really look Louis in the eye right now. He has never been allowed to actually act on his feelings and doing so sometimes is scary but in the best way possible. “I thought I would take you out tonight. Any restaurant you want.” 

“Oh, you thought?” Louis laughs. 

“I did.” Harry smiles, finally looking up from his feet to make eye contact with the older boy. 

“Let me go change, and then we can go get Tacos, boyfriend.” Louis smiles, casually, tugging Harry into his apartment by his shirt. “but first this.” Louis smiles, leaning up to kiss Harry. Harry could get used to normal. 

WINTER

They’re in Harry’s bed. It’s a Wednesday night in the middle of winter, four months since they met, two months since they started dating. Harry is only slightly high, while Louis seems extremely high since he hogged most of the joint they shared out of Harry’s window, shivering after they had a great round of sex, Canada and legal marijuana are both great. They’re just in their underwear, Harry’s head in Louis’ lap.

“I bet I could braid your hair.” Louis says out of nowhere. He’s always loved playing with Harry’s hair and now that they’re boyfriends this interest has just grown it seems, hands almost always in his hair. 

“You think it’s long enough?” Harry asks because honestly, he doesn’t think so. It’s just a little past his chin now. At the point where on Friday nights he gets teased with names of “Prince Harry.” Harry doesn’t really understand how being called a prince is supposed to be teasing but he accepts that he’s apart of the group and smiles. 

“I do.” Louis responds. “Sit on the ground, let me try.” He continues, pushing Harry out of his lap.

“Ok, ok.” Harry laughs as the pushes grow stronger. Harry sits on the ground, going to grab his stash and starts to roll another joint as Louis does his thing. 

Experimenting with his hair is something that he didn’t really think about before entering normalcy but it has turned into something he very much enjoys. He knows back in LA that the things he does with his hair now would trigger a meltdown, hyperventilate about being gay, about gender being too confusing for Harry to even pretend to understand. But Harry is in Vancouver, in bed with his beautiful boyfriend, who tells him his hair is pretty when he wears the butterfly clips he loves so very much and is now trying to braid it while they’re high. And well, life is good. 

“How do you even know how to braid?” Harry asks after an extended silence, licking the joint closed and then lighting it. He can feel Louis’ fingers on his scalp, a slight pull of his hair into the braids as he takes a drag. 

“Got sisters, lots of them.” Louis mumbles, he sounds concentrated. A lot like how he sounds when Harry interrupts him while he’s trying to write code for work. If Harry looked up he bets that he would be sticking his tongue out slightly to the left like he always does while working. But he isn’t writing code for work, he’s braiding Harry’s hair so he doesn’t feel guilty about interrupting said concentration. 

“You never tell me about your family.” Harry notes. He’s not trying to pick a fight, or prompt Louis to tell him more. It’s truthfully just an observation. 

“You don’t seem to like to talk about family.” Louis notes back, in a similar way. Truthfully just an observation.

“I know we make jokes about me running away to the safe haven that is Vancouver, but also it’s not really a joke.” Harry whispers, handing Louis a hair tie when he feels Louis’ hands on his arm clearly looking for the one that is almost always on his wrist. 

“Do you ever want to go back? To what you ran away from?” Louis whispers. And maybe this is a conversation that they’re too high to have currently. But it seems too late, they’re in this deep. 

“It’s complicated. There were a lot of good things about my life. My family and my work.” Harry pauses. He reaches for another hair tie on his bed stand and offers it to Louis so he can braid the other half of his hair. “But there were also a lot of bad things.” He pauses again because that feels unfair. He was a wealthy top of the charts singer, what is there to complain about? “I don’t think I was made to handle it.” 

Louis hums in understanding does not ask what it is, putting the hair tie around his second braid. “But you miss it?” 

Harry climbs back into bed, kissing Louis as a thanks for his new hairstyle. “In some ways, yes.” Harry says, leaning his head to the side in thought, “In most ways, I would say. But also in some overwhelming ways no.” 

“I can’t say I understand.” Louis responds, grabbing Harry’s hand and kissing it, “Not sure if it’s because I’ve never been on the run or because I’m unbelievably high.” He pauses to laugh, which pulls a smile out of Harry. “But I support you always.” He finishes. And well, Harry can’t help but kiss Louis, and well if that turns into a round two of sex, who can truly blame them? 

. . .

Christmas sneaks up on Harry. He thought for sure he would be ready to return to his life by the holidays, his mum must have assumed the same based off the emails he’s been ignoring, but here he is in Vancouver in bed with Louis. It’s a Friday which usually means dinner but everyone went away for the holidays, everyone but Louis. Louis is laying back, knitting, because apparently Harry has a thing for old men. His freezing cold feet are in Harry’s lap as Harry rubs them, listening to the Christmas music in the background. 

“Why didn’t you go home for the holidays? For your birthday?” Harry whispers, leaning down to kiss Louis’ knee. 

“Couldn’t afford it.” Louis shrugs, looking up from the hat he’s knitting, “I have a bad habit of sending all my extra money to my mom instead of saving it to buy a ticket home.” 

“I could have gotten you a ticket.” Harry tries, pushing Louis’ feet out of his lap, climbing on top of him trying to push Louis’ half-hat out of his hands to grab his undivided attention. 

Louis laughs, putting down his knitting needles, “Yeah? With what job?” 

“I saved money before I went on the run.” Harry notes, “Enough to buy you a ticket to Ontario for the holidays.” He leans down, kisses Louis’ nose. 

“Well, why didn’t you go home then? Mr. I can afford a train ticket.” Louis tries, pushing Harry off of him, grabbing his knitting needles again. 

Harry sighs, running a hand through his hair, staring up at the celling now as he lays on his back. “I guess I’m running from home on top of everything else.” Harry whispers, admits it feels like. Harry sighs again, it’s rare when Harry and Louis acknowledge this scenario for what it is. Acknowledge that Harry is running, hasn’t even admitted what he’s running, for all Louis could know he could be a murderer. But he’s not, just a pop star who had a mental breakdown. 

“Running from the people who love you must be hard.” Louis whispers back, not looking up from his hat. Harry is pretty sure that the hat is going to be his Christmas present, the couple agreed to homemade gifts to save money. Harry printed some of the photos he’s taken of them, they’re already wrapped and underneath the tiny tree in his tiny living room since he plans accordingly. 

“It feels like running is the only thing I’m good at.” Harry admits. 

“I’ve seen your mom emailing you.” Louis notes, “I mean I haven’t read them, but I’ve seen the notifications while I was on your phone a few times.” 

“Yeah.” Harry chuckles, “She wanted me to come home for the holidays.” 

“And what did you say?” Louis asks, putting his knitted needles to the side, pushing himself up and over Harry to straddle him. Harry’s hands automatically go to grab the smaller boy’s hips. 

“Didn’t answer.” Harry shrugs, he does feel a bit guilty. 

“You should. She’s probably worried about you.” Louis sighs, running a hand through Harry’s hair. “Does she know where you are?” 

“No.” Harry whispers, leaning into Louis’ touch, “I haven’t talked to her since I’ve begun running.” 

“Maybe,” Louis begins and then pauses, “maybe your mom is not someone you need to run from.” 

Harry sighs, eyes falling from Louis’ can’t handle holding eye contact with Louis when they’re being this honest. It’s probably Harry’s biggest weakness as a boyfriend, struggling with confrontation and honesty well that and also blow jobs. Harry is new to being a boyfriend though! So cut him a little bit of slack. 

“Now, try this hat on and when you open on it on Christmas, act surprised.” Louis laughs, trying to throw the hat onto Harry. 

. . .

It’s the morning after Harry’s birthday. It had been sheer luck that the birthday fell on a Friday, which meant that they had a family meal last night but instead of cheap wine they drank cheap vodka. Harry had way too many shots, ended the night blurry with another drunk boy in his arms. 

But, when he wakes up he’s alone. Harry sighs, pushing his hair out of his face. It’s down to his shoulders now and when he wakes up it's wild and annoying but Harry likes the way it looks when he actually does it so it’s worth it overall. He can hear Louis in his kitchen, hears pots and pans, and can hear Louis humming along to whatever song is playing on the radio quietly. Harry smiles, rolls out of bed pulling on boxers, and crawls out of bed. 

When he gets into the kitchen the smile falls. The music gets clear when he gets closer and now it’s clearly, well, him singing. Sweet Creature playing from the speaker as Louis hums along. Louis who has never said anything about knowing who Harry is. Louis who is in Harry’s shirt from last night cooking what looks to be pancakes in Harry’s fucking apartment, humming to a song Harry wrote about a boy who destroyed him without even dating him. 

“So, you knew?” Harry decides to break the silence. Louis jumps a little, must have not heard Harry wake or wander into the kitchen. 

“Knew what?” Louis asks, eyebrows furrowed as if he was genuinely confused. He does move to change the radio station though so he can thank him for that at least.

“Who I am.” Harry whispers, he can feel his hands start to shake. Unsure which emotion for sure is making them shake. He’s incredibly angry that Lou had hidden this from him, incredibly anxious for the conversation about to start, incredibly scared this safe haven is not as safe as he thought. 

“Um, yeah?” Louis answers, he’s wringing his hands like he does when he gets anxious about a work presentation, “I thought you would have assumed I did. I mean I’m 26. I have twitter, I have sisters who are in your target demographic.” 

“I, um, didn’t know you knew.” Harry whispers, walks to the island sitting on a stool. “Have you told your sisters then?” 

“Of course not.” Louis answers heatedly, “I wouldn’t want your location to leak.” He continues, less passionately. 

“Oh.” Harry whispers, staring at his hands which are still shaking shaking shaking he can’t get them to stop no matter how many deep breaths he takes. His anger beginning to subside when he realizes that Louis does seem to be the person he said he was, just knew more about Harry than he disclosed. “Thank you then.” 

“Haz.” Louis whispers, going to grab his hands trying to steady them when he notices Harry’s eye line. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear I knew.” He pauses, “I meant everything I’ve said though. I’ve always been honest with you.” 

Harry sighs. Louis has had plenty of dirt to leak about Harry, about his sexuality, about his location, enough to probably assume he had a mental breakdown before he went off the grid. But Louis listened to Harry’s secrets and kept them. 

“And honestly, I’m not a huge fan. I mean I am a huge Taylor Swift fan so I paid you a lot of attention during a short period of time that eventually led to one of the greatest albums of all time, thank you for that by the way, but yeah I um I’m not in this for the money or your fame or anything like that. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression but I am honestly just here to lay in your bed and knit while you keep me warm.” Louis explains and well lying in bed together sounds great right now. 

“I’m gay.” Harry says instead of inviting him to bed. 

“Oh, um, ok?” Louis chuckles, “I mean we are dating.” He adds, confused. 

“No, I mean, I never really dated Taylor.” Harry smiles, finally making eye contact with Louis again, “She’s gay too actually.” 

“Shut the fuck up, I knew Lover was about Karlie Kloss” Louis jumps up, excitedly, and fuck Harry is so incredibly in love with this smaller boy and Saturday mornings. 

“I don’t actually know that for sure, just know that 1989 is not about me.” Harry laughs, wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist. 

“I’m truly sorry I didn’t make it known I knew you were famous.” Louis whispers, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck, standing in between his legs. 

“I can think of a way you can make it up to me.” Harry whispers, smiling leaning in to kiss Louis. 

SPRING

It starts when Louis walks into Harry’s apartment to see him online shopping. He’s looking at woman’s clothes is what piques Louis’ interest though. Dresses to be specific. 

“Who you shopping for?” Louis asks, making his presence known. 

“Oh, no one.” Harry says, almost defensively, shutting his laptop. “Did you bring wine?” He changes the subject standing up, greeting his boyfriend with a kiss. 

It continues like that, Louis walking into Harry’s apartment to see him closing browsers full of dresses. Over and over again until Louis can’t not say anything anymore. 

They’re sitting on Louis’ beds right now, the windows are wide open since they’re sharing a joint but it’s still early spring so Louis is freezing. He’s sitting in Harry’s lap trying to stay warm, waiting patiently for his turn to take a hit when he decides to bring it up. 

“Do you want to wear a dress?” He asks, accepting the joint when handed to him, taking a long drag. 

“What?” Harry laughs, leaning back against the headboard. 

“Dress. You want to wear one, right?” Louis continues, taking another hit of the joint. “I think you’d look good in one.” 

“Um, I don’t know.” Harry answers, accepting the joint back, leaning over to the end table where the ashtray sits to ash slightly. “It was never something I was allowed to think about, so now I’m letting myself think about it.” He shrugs, bringing the joint to his mouth. 

“And what do you think about it?” Louis smiles, leaning up to kiss Harry because he is easily distracted while high. 

“I think,” Harry pauses, sighs, “I think gender is really fucking confusing.” Harry laughs, pushing some hair out of his face. 

“It doesn’t have to do with gender, you know?” Louis offers comfort, “You could just be a boy who likes wearing dresses.” 

“I could be.” Harry affirms, “I could also be a boy who doesn’t like dresses or not a boy. I don’t know is the thing.” 

“Well whoever you are, I quite like you.” Louis smiles finishes the joint and stubbing the roach out. 

Harry smiles back, leaning up to kiss his beautiful boyfriend in his normal apartment slightly high and very much in love. 

. . .

Louis should probably leave it at that, but well he’s Louis so he doesn’t. But Louis doesn’t know a single thing about dress shopping so he calls Eleanor for some advice. That’s how he finds himself lying about his whereabouts on a Sunday morning while in a thrift store following around Eleanor. 

“What cut does he like?” Eleanor asks as she shifts through a rack. 

“Um, I don’t know.” Louis supplies, rubbing the back of his neck, “To be fair, I don’t think he knows either. It’s gonna be his first dress I think.” He pauses, “I’m pretty sure it’s one of the reasons he’s running.” He whispers, joining Eleanor looking through the dress rack. 

“Ok.” Eleanor nods in understanding, “Well I think he would look good in something long and tight around the waist, since he’s tall and thin, so look for something like that.” 

Louis nods in affirmation, looking through the rack trying to find a dress like Eleanor described. 

“Oh my god. You are in deep.” Eleanor laughs when she sees Louis’ face, “You look so concentrated, you only get this face when you’re working on like a really hard code for work.” 

“Hey! I just-“ Louis sighs, throwing his hands up, “I want to make him happy! He ran away for this life, he should get everything he wants.” Louis finishes, pulling a dress from the rack that Eleanor smiles at and puts in the cart. 

“What are you gonna do when he stops?” Eleanor frowns, pulling another dress to put in their cart. 

“When he stops what? Wanting to wear a dress? I mean it’s a thrift store its affordable.” Louis shrugs. 

“Running. When he stops running.” Eleanor corrects. 

“I don’t know.” Louis sighs, moving towards the check out since they’ve already gathered three dresses that look like they would fit Harry. “Be sad?” Louis tries, “Hope he invites me with him, cry when I have to turn him down.” 

“Why would you turn him down? You would make a lovely Los Angeles housewife.” Eleanor laughs, following closely behind Louis. 

“I wasn’t made to be a housewife, and we both know that.” Louis frowns, handing the cashier his debit card, “I went to the best university in Canada, I now work for an amazing tech start-up and I make enough money to send money to my mom every paycheck. I’m living my dream, El, no one can make me give that up.” 

“Would you ask him to stay?” Eleanor asks as they walk out of the store. 

“I couldn’t.” Louis sighs, looking down at the ground as he walks, “I would want to. But I couldn’t.” 

. . .

By the time Louis gets back to the apartment building his mind has pushed the sad thoughts out. More excited about seeing Harry try on dresses, do something he clearly has wanted for a long time but no one has offered him an environment safe enough to try. He’s whistling to some poppy song he heard for the first time while he was dropping Eleanor off, walking up the steps going straight to Harry’s instead of his own apartment. 

“Honey, I’m home!” Louis grins, walking into the kitchen seeing Harry cooking up breakfast. 

“Hello, babe.” Harry smiles leaning down to kiss the shorter boy. “I wish you texted me you were coming, I would have made some extra food for you.” 

“It’s fine, I’ll just eat yours.” Louis laughs, taking a piece of bacon and taking a bite. 

“What’s this?” Harry laughs, stealing the bacon back, pointing at the shopping bag in Louis’ hand. 

“I bring presents.” Louis smiles, holding the bag out of Harry’s reach as Harry tries to steal the bag from him. 

Harry eventually steals the bag though, using his strength and size as an advantage. When he opens the bag and takes out the first dress his smile drops. He’s staring at the dress, feeling the fabric in the hands carefully, almost as if it’s sacred. After a long silent pause, he looks into the bag taking the other dresses out, examining them in a similar manner. 

“You don’t have to try them on right now, or ever.” Louis whispers, watching as Harry continues to just stare at the dresses, “I just wanted to let you know I meant it when I said I always support you.” 

Instead of responding, Harry takes the dresses walks into his room, and closes the door behind him. Louis sighs sitting down on a stool, serving himself some of the breakfast Harry made for himself. He’s not sure what Harry is doing in private, tearing up the dresses, continuing to stare at them, crying, anything is possible but whatever he is doing he wants to be by himself so Louis lets him. 

A few minutes later, Harry walks out silently in the first dress that Louis picked out. The dress is simple, a black tank dress that Louis thought would show his tattoos and muscles well off in warm weather. Underneath it, he’s wearing a long-sleeve white blouse with huge frilly sleeves since it’s still spring, and well it’s Canada so it’s still cold. 

“What do you think?” Louis asks before Harry has the chance to ask him. 

“What do you think?” Harry asks back, he’s wringing his hands and his feet are on top of each other and he’s very obviously nervous. 

“You know that’s not how this works, I asked you first.” Louis smiles, stepping closer to his very beautiful boyfriend. 

“I have never felt this pretty.” Harry finally says, looking up from his hands into Louis’ eyes. And Harry has never looked so beautiful, smiling just right so his dimple his popping and his delicate hands fixing his dress and Louis is so deeply in love. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so pretty,” Louis answers, pushing Harry’s hair behind his ear. He pecks Harry on the lips, “Now, let me do your hair, it’s incredibly messy this morning.” Louis laughs, pushing Harry into his bedroom where the needed supplies reside. 

“I love you,” Harry says out of nowhere, making eye contact with his boyfriend in the mirror, while Louis clips butterfly clips into his hair. 

“I love you too.” Louis whispers, finishing his hair, kissing him on the cheek. 

. . .

After the dresses and the big admissions of love, Harry starts to be more honest Louis notes. Louis used to be concerned about just being a fling during this break of his but as Harry shares more these worries cease to exist. Harry admits more about running. They spend late nights, looking at the stars or lying in bed, where they admit secrets to each other. Harry talks about being controlled, about constant anxiety that came from stardom how he couldn’t even handle his thoughts eventually. Louis talks about growing up poor, about sending too much money home, about never having a dad, and being more like a dad to his siblings than a brother. They spend late nights talking, they get wine drunk too often, get distracted by making out way too often. 

During late-night talks where Harry goes on and on about wanting a normal life, Louis decides he’s going to give just that to him. One late spring Friday night, Louis moves their family meal to a picnic instead to surprise Harry. They’re cuddled on a blanket in the middle of a park with all their closest friends, drinking cheap wine out of red solo cups, and well Harry looks like Louis gave him the world instead of just the fact that he just packed dinner and walked him to the park. Louis tried to get Harry to wear his favorite dress but Harry isn’t ready for that yet. He is comfortable enough to cuddle with Louis in public though, showing no concern about photos of them being leaked like that so Louis takes wins where he can get them. 

They spend Sunday afternoons biking on the edges of Vancouver, taking a break around lunchtime to sit in a park or on the beach to eat their lunches together to enjoy the beautiful city. Sometimes they sit sharing fruit for hours, talking about nothing in particular and Harry will catch himself and realize he’s the happiest he’s been in a long fucking time. 

It’s on one Sunday after a bike ride that they walk back into Harry’s apartment to find that it’s not empty. Instead, 

“Mum?” Harry asks in shock, accepting the hug that is thrown at him. 

“Oh baby, I’m so happy that you’re safe. When I got your email I couldn’t help but fly out as fast as possible.” She says, pulling away holding Harry’s face in her hands. “And who is this?” Harry’s mum asks, turning to face Louis. 

“Mum, this is Louis.” Harry pauses, awkwardly, “my boyfriend.” He finishes, quietly, nervously. 

“Well, it’s great to meet you Louis.” She smiles, pulling away from Harry to hug Louis. 

SUMMER

Anne leaves a week later, leaves after a week of conversation after conversation where Harry feels like he’s justifying every decision he’s made in the last few months to her. Explaining how he felt before he ran, explaining that sometimes he felt feelings so much he wished he couldn’t feel at all, explaining that running was the only option. Anne leaves with tears in her eyes, telling Harry to come back to England when he feels ready and to bring Louis when he does. 

It’s summer now. Louis just got promoted at his job which means he’s working much more manageable hours and making a significantly larger amount of money, which means instead of ten-dollar wine they drink thirty dollar wine (even now where they’re in a position where both of them are comfortable casually mention Harry’s fame Louis does not let him splurge on their relationship). It also means more picnics in the park, means more walks along the beach. 

One day while Louis is at work and Harry is bored out of his mind, he starts to write before he even realizes what he’s doing. It’s just, he had this melody stuck in his head since he went to the beach for a late-night picnic bonfire with the group two nights ago, where he felt completely and utterly loved and safe. Maybe if he writes it out it will finally stop haunting him. But as soon as he writes down the melody he realizes that he can’t stop and when Louis is walking into the door Harry finished a whole song about how much he adores Louis how he would do anything, walkthrough fires even. A song that he’s proud of. And that’s how it starts. 

The next time it happens, it’s a Friday night and they’re picnicking at the park close to Eleanor’s apartment. Harry is in between Louis’ legs, leaning back so he’s using Louis as a pillow. Before coming, Harry cubed up some watermelon and now he reaches back every now and then to give Louis a piece unprompted. Harry’s wearing a dress for the second time in public, he hasn’t branched out to many different cuts yet but has started to experiment with prints, today a maxi dress covered in sunflowers. It’s at this picnic, looking at his friends, feeding watermelon to his lover where he realizes just how deeply in love he is, how he thinks he found his soulmate. He goes home and writes another song. 

It’s not until he writes a song about how Louis endears everyone he meets, how Louis lights up every room he enters, how he’s far from home because his grandma sent him that he notices. He notices that he has multiple love songs, love songs that are finished with male pronouns, love songs that he’s proud of. He notices he’s writing an album, isn’t he?

This realization triggers a different mental breakdown, not one that he’s used to. He’s very used to hyperventilating about being gay, about having to do what his record label tells him to, about not having freedom. Currently, he’s hyperventilating because he’s writing music that he’s proud of? Which ok that doesn’t make sense, he’s hyperventilating because he’s gonna have to go back eventually and show the world this music and everyone will know he’s gay, everyone will know who he really is. 

It’s in this position that Louis finds him on a Wednesday when he gets home from work. Lately, they’ve just been sleeping in Harry’s apartment every night. Unsure why Louis still has his place really since he’s just always at Harry’s. But regardless, Louis walks into Harry’s apartment to find Harry freaking out about his album and now Louis is freaking out because he has no idea what to do. 

“Harry?” Louis tries to get his attention, he kneels down so he’s at eyesight with the younger boy who is sitting on his bathroom floor. “Harry.” He tries again, pulling Harry’s hands out of his hair since he has a nervous tick of yanking it. “You need to breathe.” He says when Harry finally makes eye contact with him. “Let’s do in together ok, in and out.” He continues. 

Eventually, Harry does calm down, he’s a little shaky still, hands not steady enough to really do anything but he’s breathing calmly. Louis stands up and extends a hand to Harry who takes it and shakily walks to the living room and sits on the couch. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Louis asks after he hands Harry a cup of tea, notes that it’s not as full as usual, Louis must have thought of his shaky hands. Louis thinks of everything he is truthfully so lovely. 

“I don’t want to leave.” Harry admits, throwing his head back. 

“Who’s telling you to leave?” Louis whispers, sitting on the couch next to Harry. 

“No one.” Harry sighs, shaking his head, “I’m writing music again.” He admits reluctantly. 

“That’s good! You said you were struggling to write music before you ran away.” Louis responds, grabbing Harry’s hand. 

“It means I have to go back eventually.” Harry shakes his head. 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” The older boy responds. 

“I want to go back eventually just,” Harry pauses, shaking his head, he reaches to yank his hair to calm his thoughts but Louis grabs his hand before he gets the chance to, “Things can’t go back to what they were. I can’t go back to being controlled, and I’m scared that’s the only way to go back.” 

“Haz,” Louis sighs, “You have to go back to the new life you want because if you go back to your old life you’ll run again.” Another pause, “You can be a queer pop star, I promise” He finishes, whispering. 

“I can’t lose you, though.” Harry whispers, looking over to his boyfriend. 

“I won’t follow you around the world, but I will facetime you anytime you want.” Louis whispers back, leaning in to kiss his boyfriend, “I love you, popstar, nothing will change that.” 

. . . 

After his breakdown, Harry continues to write but with less stress. He’s finding out that being happy, truthfully happy, is the best thing that has ever happened to his songwriting. Obviously there are some songs that are complete shit, but there are also songs like Watermelon Sugar, Adore You. Harry and Louis go on a bike ride one Sunday and passes a Sunflower field which inspires Sunflower, Vol 6. They have particularly great sex one Tuesday night which inspires Medicine. Louis’ entire existence is inspiring him to write an album. 

Eventually, he has six solid songs, which is at least half an album and he’s planning to call Jeff the day after about finding a studio in Vancouver to record in tomorrow, but tonight he’s celebrating. He’s unsure what he’s celebrating but Louis bought champagne and strawberries on his way home from work and announced they should have a celebratory picnic. They’re sitting on a blanket in the middle of a field. Harry wearing a shirt that hints at him being queer, laying his head on Louis’ stomach and life is just good. 

“You make me really happy, Lou.” Harry announces during a comfortable pause. 

“You make me stupidly happy, H.” Louis says back, laughing slightly. 

Overall, it’s a great day during Harry’s great life. That is until someone post a photo of their picnic onto twitter. 

. . .

Harry wakes up later than usual the next day. The night before Louis somehow convinced him getting drunk off of champagne was a great idea, Harry’s head is currently disagreeing. He grunts rolling out of bed to go get a glass of water, thinking about how thankful he is for not having a 9 to 5 like his boyfriend is currently at. Harry chuckles thinking about Louis at his desk hungover, he walks back to his bedroom to get his phone and his startled by the number of notifications he has. 

Texts from everyone he’s been ignoring, Jeff, Mitch, his sister everyone is spamming him. He’s confused because yeah people have been texting him about how they’re concerned and miss him but usually they’re spread out and right now everyone is fucking texting him. But he opens Mitch’s text first and it just reads “Vancouver?” and a laugh is startled out of him but then he realizes oh shit. He goes to twitter, looks up his name, and yep. There’s a photo going around of him with his head thrown back laughing at something Louis must have said with the caption “Harry yesterday in Vancouver.” 

And well, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. He goes to text Louis and already sees that Louis texted him an hour ago, “Everything alright?” Followed shortly after by, “I can leave work early?” Harry quickly replies that that’s unneeded, that he’s ok. Because honestly, he is kind of ok. Is he a little sad that his cover has been blown and he can no longer do his picnics with Louis without being worried about people seeing? Of course, but he was supposed to call Jeff today anyway, he was about to enter his old life soon anyway so maybe it’s not the end of the world. 

Speak of the devil, Jeff is calling him. Harry sighs can’t avoid this for any longer and picks up the phone. 

“Vancouver?” is the first thing that Jeff says, startling a laugh out of Harry. 

“I mean, yeah.” Harry says after he’s done laughing. “Vancouver.” He repeats as some form of confirmation. 

“And the boy.” Jeff continues. 

“The boy.” Harry smiles, “Louis.”

“He’s yours then?” Jeff responds, Harry can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Yeah.” Harry whispers as a confirmation. “I’m uh, writing an album about him. Almost done.” 

“So, you’re coming back then?” Jeff asks.

“Yeah, eventually. I don’t know when. I want to try to record in Vancouver I think.” Harry responds. 

“I’ll look into a place, I’ll let you know what I find.” Jeff answers, which thank God for Jeff, “Until then stay in touch, mate, tell me all about this Louis lad.” 

Harry smiles as they say their goodbyes. 

. . . 

When Louis gets home he clearly prepared himself for a crisis. He rushes in, out of breath, clearly had just finished running up the stairs. He startles to a stop when he sees Harry cooking dinner as if nothing happened. 

“Hey, how was your day at work?” Harry smiles, turning around to get plates from the cabinets. 

“How was my day? Haz, your cover has been blown let’s not pretend everything is normal please.” Louis responds, sitting down on a stool next to the island. 

“I am doing surprisingly well.” Harry smiles down at the plates, “I uh, I’m happy it happened now, when I was already preparing to go back, you know?” he pauses to take the potatoes out of the oven, “and I’m happy it was only one bombshell, no offense, but it was just us laughing. Today I’m found in Vancouver when the album comes out I’ll be the queer pop star. One step at a time.” He says, mostly to comfort himself, plating dinner for the two. 

“That’s, uh, good.” Louis smiles, “I’m happy this didn’t happen in like winter or anything, that would have been a different story.” 

“Now tell me about your day, Lou.” Harry smiles, sitting down for dinner with his beautiful boyfriend. 

FALL

Harry is releasing an album that he’s unbelievably proud of on his one year anniversary with his unbelievable boyfriend. On album release night he used to meet up with agent and representatives and record label people in meeting after meeting preparing for the promo season he was about to enter. Tonight, he’s back in Vancouver, been away for two weeks doing promo for his album. He’s back in Vancouver in his and his boyfriend’s apartment cooking dinner wearing an apron that says “Kiss the chef” which has prompted multiple make-out sessions already. Tonight, he is not anxious about sales or streams or reception, because tonight he is in love and he has an album that he’s proud of. 

Tonight, they finish dinner and dance around the living room in their boxers like they used to. The music is on some love playlist Louis made on shuffle and eventually Lover by Taylor Swift comes on. The first song they ever danced to, the first song they ever kissed to. Harry smiles down at the shorter boy, leans down to kiss him. 

After a particularly chaste kiss, Louis looks up and whispers “Now that we’ve been together for a year can you introduce me to Taylor Swift?” 

“Oh my god, we are so fucking done.” Harry throws his head back laughing, before leaning down and kissing Louis again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! It was my first Larry fic, I hope I did them justice <3
> 
> Title inspired by Taylor Swift


End file.
